... on Dreams and Goose Bumps

     I am a Teacher.

     Do I deserve being called such?

     I had wanted to be one when I was in elementary. It was because I had a very loving and dedicated teacher who served as an inspiration. 

    When I was in high school, I had experienced the joys of being a member of the staff of our school paper. I started as a community news writer and later became the editor-in-chief. One of the highlights of my high school life was when I was recognized as one of the Most Promising Feature Story Writers by the Philippine Information Agency. And I started dreaming of becoming a real journalist.

     My parents couldn't afford to send me to a tertiary school offering a course on journalism,  so I enrolled in a state university near our place, which only offers teaching courses. And I became a Teacher.

     Do I deserve being called one?

   This question pops every time I read or hear the real meaning of being a Teacher. It always gives me goose bumps, realizing I have never been worthy of the name.

    Yes, I have tried my very best to be a good one. I have tried learning to love this profession that has become my "bread and butter," as our Supervisor calls it, for seven years now. Yes, I have enjoyed reaping fruits of my labor and have cried during graduations; but I still feel empty deep inside.

     Not that I'm complaining. I have always been thankful to God for this gift of becoming a mentor, of being a part of this wonderful ministry. Yet, there are times that I long for something; for that dream that I once had - a dream that is still trying to awaken this writer in me. 

...on Teaching & Honesty

     Little Jane comes home from school and blurts out, "I want to be a teacher."

     Little Junior, still carrying his backpack, shouts, "Mom, I'll be a teacher."

     I think, once in our childhood days, most of us were like Little Jane and Little Junior. A sweet teacher came to our lives and we dreamed of becoming like her.

     I had once wanted to become a teacher; and then I dreamed of becoming a journalist. 

     I became a TEACHER.

     I've been reading Leo Buscaglia's "Living, Loving & Learning." In one of his lectures, he said, "It's too bad when you go to work and you don't love it, especially in our profession (Buscaglia's a teacher). If you don't get excited every morning about getting into that room with all those little kids with their bright eyes waiting for you to help them get to that table, then get the hell out of education! Do something where you're not going to be coming into contact with little kids and killing them at an early age. There are other things you can do..... but let children alone."

     Those lines made me think, "how many of us teachers really love what we're doing?"

     Let's be honest. Most of us don't like our job. We either stay because of the "pay" we're getting, or we don't have a choice because it's the course we chose. Now, let's think about our "enjoyment" and the welfare of our clientele.

     Does our work make us a better person? or does it alienate us from our own selves?

     In my six years of teaching experience, I had come to realize that being a teacher is the toughest job on earth. Every working day, you deal with other people's children who have different characteristics. You guide them in learning, but not all of them show the enthusiasm to learn something. You ought to have the patience of Job in order to stay in this profession.

     Most of us don't possess the qualities of a good teacher, and it makes us worse. We end up saying things we don't like to hear. We become monsters.

     What if we do something we really love doing?

      Then we would be different. We would be loving persons. We'd learn to love ourselves more.